Chicken Diapers

If I ever get another Jeebus Rug, I'm going to use it to ask that the people responsible for this never know where I live. Or that I exist.

If you're really excited about diapering your birdy friend, or if you can't bear to put it outside but are sick of cleaning chicken crap out of your carpet, here's how to measure for the perfect fit:



Just follow these simple instructions:

"Measure on the back of the bird snugly, as if you are measuring for undergarments. Do NOT add room for feathers. Start from where the wing joins the body (Point A) to where the tail joins the body (Point B), and continue down to the vent (Point C where the droppings come out)."

I hope you got that, because I'm not going to explain it again.

And for you turkeyphiles out there (and you know who you are), the good people who created Chicken Diapers will soon also be offering Turkey Diapers, so you will no longer have to live amongst piles of turkey crap. Hazzah!