Damien?

Last night Eryn was reading the Classified section of the Sunday Strib. I asked her to find specific numbers and letters for a while, and then she started just naming things she saw in the paper. She moved to the floor, spread the paper out upside down in front of her, and suddenly blurted out "666!" Scooter and I have no idea what she was looking at (I looked...there was no "666" anywhere, and no "999," either), but we agree it was just...kinda...creepy.

Mobile Blogging

Scooter, Eryn and I are hanging out at the Eagan Panera, taking advantage of the WiFi connection. So, IN YOUR FACE, Mean Mr. Mustard!

Belly Laugh

Hey, cool, now my dad can post some pictures!

The photo at left is from a month ago when my sister and nephew were in town. Eryn was very amused with Mr. Max.

Learning Curve

It is not easier to get Play-Doh out of the treads of toddler tennies after it dries.

Land of the Dead

You know how in the Jason movies, the characters who have sex are always the first to die? It's listed as one of the horror movie rules in Scream: you have sex, you die. I always took it as a sort of sideways social commentary: remain chaste, remain breathing. Romero shifted it a bit in Land of the Dead. If you haven't seen it and don't want to know anything about it at all, stop reading now; however, I'm not giving away anything big that the previews haven't already shown. The zombies get into the Living's little protected city, and the first ones to bite it (get bitten, that is) are the two women kissing. So is Romero making a moral statement about lesbianism/homosexuality, or is it more of a play off the silly horror movie rule? "Hey, women are kissing! Yup, they're gonna die first!"

Apart from wondering what Romero was up to with that, I enjoyed the movie. It did its share of cheating (how did the zombies learn to think? They're dead! They couldn't have evolved because they can't procreate. Ew...zombie sex...), but it also tossed in some fun social commentary - not deep thought stuff, but clever enough to make me smirk. And while it wasn't nearly as affecting or disgusting as the remake of Dawn of the Dead (it had only 2/3 the budget), it does manage to be completely disgusting a couple of times. I don't think anything in movie fiction can quite match the visual impact of that bus scene in Dawn, anyway. The vine rape scene in The Evil Dead comes close (100% on rottentomatoes, BTW), but it's missing the flesh-eating component. One would think, then, that I'd be more creeped out by parts of Silence of the Lambs. Hm...maybe it's just been too long since I saw it.

Insomnia

It's 2 a.m., I'm very tired, you'd think I'd be sleeping. Inane television hasn't done it, let's see if making fun of orangutans does.

What do you suppose he was doing under there? Hiding from the hot sun?

MN Zoo Highlights

Scooter took the day off and the three of us drove the entire five miles to the "New Zoo" to hook up with Mean Mr. Mustard and his daughter, Emma, and klund and his brood: Koleman, Eli, Milena, and Kelson. Selected highlights follow.

(1) Kevin made this face:


(2) We saw some animals.

(3) As the adults were discussing what to do next, Eryn wandered over to a planter full of flowers only to discover that the little girl (big kid, by Eryn's standards) next to the flowers was more interesting because of her possession of Doritos. Eryn scammed a chip and came back to us beaming. We made sure she said "thank you." Eli tried to scam the chip off Eryn, but that just...well, it wasn't happening.

(4) Everyone but Scooter, Eryn and I went home.

(5) Eryn made this face:


(6) Eryn, Scooter and I rode a swan boat. I cut my leg on said swan boat*, and Scooter mocked me by saying I could injure myself with cheese and bread.



*The swan boats are not dangerous. I have no idea how I managed to cut myself on one.

Speaking of Funny T-Shirts

As I was waiting to have my hair cut this evening, a boy in his late teens came in wearing a shirt that said "Shrodinger's cat is dead." On the back, it said "Shrodinger's cat is not dead."

Snort

Sometimes AMERICAblog is laugh out loud funny.

Not A Clue

I would have thought the vast majority of American women would have gotten one by now. A clue, that is. About how being a Bunny (or a Bunny WannaBe) isn't just the pinnacle experience of being female. I’m pretty sure if you’re a woman and you’re wearing a Playboy Bunny visor, you've completely missed the clue ferry, and you probably don't know who Gloria Steinem is or that the 21st century is actually upon us. (Not to mention...a visor? Is this 1976?)

Eryn and I were coming home after buying a new washing machine for the rental house in Apple Valley (we already did buy one, in fact, but Warner Stellian - also in Apple Valley - screwed us by losing the order to install, so we told them to bug off and got one from Maytag, where they told me they could install it same-day. Slightly more $ but I bet they don't lose the order.) Anyway. We were almost home when I noticed that the woman driving the convertible Sebring behind us was wearing a black visor with a white Playboy Bunny insignia on it. Gag...

So, I am now sitting at the Playboy site (I'm at home, Eryn's asleep, I can go there if I feel like it), and there's an amazing array of crap you can buy from Hef's store. I went just to figure out if the visors are actually targeted at women, but I found so much more! Sebring Woman must have found her treasure somewhere else, because playboy.com just sells a hat version, but look what else can be had!




Not your style? Well, then you can advertise your expertise to the ladies in this shirt:



The biggest selling point (apart from the fact that this item is listed in the Clearance section) is its description: "PLAYBOY Talent Scout Tee - Black/What Print
Baby, I can make you a star! Wearing this black tee might not convince the ladies that you have that kind of clout with Hef, but it will let them know you have a sense of humor and keen eye for beauty."

I don't know what color "What" is, but I bet it works just like Rhino horn powder in a margarita.

The "For Him" section also offers a bunny money clip. Hurry! Father's Day is this Sunday!

The best offerings in the "For Her" section are a Fuzzy Bunny shirt, Bunny Head and Wrist Sweat Bands, a Bunny Cell Phone Cover (just call her and discreetly mention you're a Key Holder!), and a Property of Playboy half-shirt. That one's my favorite, really, as it ought to make any woman with any sense choke on her own vomit, AND because it's just perfect that it's only half a shirt.

Incidentally, all the links are safe for work. I'd have included one of the lovely jackets, but amazingly, they must be worn without a shirt underneath and with the zippers open. Go figure.

Ow

First well-skinned knee.

Dog Training

Scooter will tell you I did a neophyte's job of using the drop fertilizer spreader. What he doesn't know is that I left stripes of unfertilized grass on the lawn purposely so I could train the dog to compete in Canine Freestyle. (Be sure to scroll to the bottom of that page for a photo treat!)



As she insists on wandering across the lines instead of sprinting between them, I'm headed outside to fert the chunks I previously purposely left untouched. Did I mention I striped the lawn on purpose?

Jesus Fish War Ribbon

Yellow ribbon car magnets have become ubiquitous, so if you're looking for something a bit different that says "I support our troops and I'm closer to God than you are," here's your accessory:

Nephew!

Arthur Julian:
June 1, 8:21 a.m.
8 pounds, 8 ounces, in great shape

I like my Ford Focus even more now

...that I read this post over at BitchPh.D. and the article over here to which B. linked.

It seems the AFA (I'm not linking to them, ick, bad karma for my blog) wants all Christians to boycott Ford Motor Company because Ford has been supporting "gay causes" (the only people who care are gay people, right?) and considers same-sex marriage to be as legitimate as opposite sex marriage. Oh, the horror!

The website promoting this boycott does remind boycotters "Please remember to always be polite." Be hatefully bigotted, but be polite.

So, let me get this straight...er, right. Gay people will be driven out of the beacon of Christian decency that is the U.S.A. if no new Mustangs are on the road?